Losing A Loved One

On Saturday we were able to attend the funeral of Jackson Rich who is my friends little boy that passed away this week. It was heartbreaking and wonderful at the same time. The spirit was overwhelming, the music beautiful and the talks inspirational. It was my priviledge to be there and share in that little boys life with his family. I can't imagine how hard the road is ahead for them but they will have at least one little angle cheering them on and holding them up when they need it. I pray that they will be given strength in the coming days and years.
That night we were feeling emotionally drained and were just staying home to enjoy our little family and each other when we got a phone call. Matt's mom called my phone because he had left his upstairs and hadn't heard it ringing. She asked if he was with me and I knew by her voice that things were not good. Now Matt's dad has frequented the hospital over the years for different heart problems, diabetes and more but I could tell that this time was different. She told him to get to the hospital as soon as he could but no more. He raced out the door and I just knew it was bad. I called my mom and started to get the girl's things together when Matt called me. He was really upset and said that his dad was gone. I couldn't believe it! I told him I would be right there while trying to control my emotions so that the girls would be ok. I don't think it has ever taken me so long to get to my mom's and then get to the hospital. When I got there, everyone was very upset. Apparently Matt's mom and dad had been at the District movie theater just off bangeter when he said he couldn't breathe very well. They stopped the movie and called an ambulance. By the time Matt's mom followed them and got into the hospital, he was talking pleasantly to the nurse and so she wasn't too alarmed. They had been through this many times before. Well soon after that he was being taken to a different room and they were hooking him up to a respirator and he passed away really suddenly. There was nothing to do. It was just quik and painless. The hard part was that no one was there with her. She didn't have time to call any of us nor did she think it was serious. He had a blood clot travel to his lungs and cause 10 times the pressure on his heart. He has survived 4 blood clots before but this one just took him. Luckily most of her children were able to get to the hospital quickly. It was just very shocking to all of us. He has had health problems but we never expected for him to go so fast. It is better than him suffering however. We are so thankful to the hospital staff at Jordan Valley Hospital and for all that they did for us. We were up until about 5am that night and have had a rough day again today trying to get through some of the business aspect of it all. It has brought us all together and I am grateful for that. I don't think that I have had a worse week in a long time....well at least since my grandpa and my dad passing. But this sweet little baby and then Matt's dad....I am drained. And yet I am so grateful too. I am so blessed and these things really remind you of what is important. I love my husband and his family so much and I am glad that we can all come together to celebrate their father's life. He was an amazing man and I know that he is in a much better place. The funeral is on Friday at 11am. I will post more when I have a bit more time.

Prayers

On a day like today everything gets shoved back into perspective. I found out today that I friend of mine lost their little boy yesterday. He was 16 months old. I am just sick about it. How do you handle something like that. My heart is breaking for them and their family. I can't think of anything else to do but pray for them.

Also, my sister is having her first baby today. He is 6 weeks early and so we are hoping that the delivery will go smoothly. Again, all I can do is pray.

I know that there are many of you out there that have amazing faith and a close relationship to Heavenly Father. If you could remember these people that are dear to me in your prayers I know it will help.

Thank you and may we all hold each other closer today.

The Date Has Been Set

I am not really sure how I feel about it yet. It means a lot of different things for me and our family. Matt will be leaving for Officer Training School on January 13, 2009. That date seems really soon all of the sudden. After he leaves, I will still be here by myself for a while. Probably at least 4 months if not longer. I am so proud of him and for his willingness to serve this country. Also, getting his commission as an officer is huge. All of it will be an adventure I am sure.

I just feel sick more than anything else. Sometimes great things are scary at first. I am just not as strong as I would like other people to think I am or as I would like to tell myself I am.

All I can do is pray.

My Girls and Their New Events!

Yes I know that I am really late in posting first day of school pictures but it has been crazy! I got them back to school, they started back in dance and singing lessons, I started teaching at the studio again and so I am just now catching up!
Here are some pictures of Elleigh on her first day! Wow the emotions were strong on this day! She loved every second of it! She loved the playground and her teacher and she loved talking to all the new friends! She couldn't stop talking about the reading castle in her classroom! I handled it all ok and didn't cry or anything. It just felt like my heart was going to explode out of my chest as I watched her walk up with confidence and head into a new experience. What a huge milestone this is for us both. I am so proud of that bright, beautiful little girl.






Here are some pictures of her at the school with her best friend Alyssa. They are in the same class. I am glad that they could share their first day together.




So I took these pictures of Elleigh on her second week of kindergarten. We were a little early so she was playing on the playground by herself for a few minutes while we waited for the rest of the kids to come. She was really excited when a few kids showed up and so she kept going over to them and inviting them to come play with her. After awhile, there was quite a few kids there but Elleigh noticed a little girl sitting on the edge of the playground not playing. The little girl looked a little down. Well Elleigh can't have that! She went over to her and talked to her for a minute and convinced her to come play. She took her by the hand and led her over to play. I was very impressed with my little five year old and how perceptive she can be. I wasn't fast enough to get pictures of the whole scene....but I did get a few.






Sophie has been waiting for a long time to start school. She has come along for two years now watching Elleigh go into Mrs. Honey's class and now it is finally her turn! She practically lived at the school last year as well because mom was teaching and Elleigh attending. But now she knew that it was her turn and that she wasn't just there for the ride! She squealed in the car when I asked her if she was excited to go in to her school! I had a much harder time dropping her off than I did Elleigh. Maybe it's because she is the baby and I can't believe that my little one who has come everywhere with me like an additional appendage for the last three years has her own little schedule and things to do! I had a moment where I kind of freaked out in the car all by myself. I had dropped them both off at school and then I went to get gas and I was all alone! I sent Matt a text because I couldn't believe it! It was actually really hard at first. I am sure that I will learn to enjoy it but, as most of you know, Sophie is an absolute joy to be around and I really missed her while she was gone. Of course, when I picked her up she was beaming with excitement! She wanted to tell me all about pre school and how they had done puzzles and games and sang songs and danced and colored pictures! She even said the boys were nice! She was very surprised by that I guess. So funny.... A good but very hard day for a mom!







What a beautiful little school girl!!







I love having girls and the things that come with it. As they start their school careers and grow and learn through this life, I hope that we can share it together. I continue to pray that I can be the mom they need. I hope that they will know that I am trying to teach them what is best because I love them and I want them to be good people like I know they are. I want to guide them in the right direction while enjoying the ups and downs of it all. I am blessed to be the mother of these two little spirits and I hope that we can all enjoy the upcoming years.

To my girls:


I love to watch you grow....

I love to see you on stage...twirling like a ballerina.....

I love to see you go to school.....

I will enjoy watching you eat a thousand ice creams....

I love to hear you squealing...

I love to see you play with friends...

I think it's fun when you to invite your friends over....

I can't wait for you beg me to take you shopping....

I love to buy you pretty dresses...

Ribbons for your hair....

I am nervous and excited for you to have boyfriends...and I will be there to mend your broken heart....

I won't believe it when it is time to go to your wedding and I will weep that you look so beautiful...

I will love it when you have children....

I will always love to see you smile....

I will always be energized by your laugh...

I will never take for granted watching you sleep, dreaming sweet dreams....

I always want to see you healthy....

I love to watch you learn all sorts of wonderful things...

I will continue to kiss and cuddle you a thousand times over....

I will always love to hear the sweet sound of your voice......

I will always be grateful for you and I love you more than you know......