I Stole This From Sarah - Love It!!

So there's this job, it's supposed to be one of the most sought-after positions in the nation. I looked into it. Here are the details: You go to an orientation for the company. You meet with the directors and they tell you the basics. How many days you work, what effect the job has on your daily life, the demands of the position, etc. They do not mention pay (compensation) at this time.

The most interesting aspect of this job is they have a computer program where you can create your own manager. Once you create your manager, you have no say in how that manager fits with your personality. It can be difficult considering this manager, even if you stand your ground, almost always wins control. You are stuck with this person (or people, depending on how many managers you request) forever and there is no option to change once one is assigned. This job is demanding, and a GOOD day with your new manager consists of 5,000 more tasks than you ever had with previous managers! Job compensation is still not discussed at this time.

After you have agreed to most details, you are then asked to go through a company initiation process. Not all have to do the initiation, but 95% of incoming employees do. This is rigorous, and something that this company is known for! Access to their hiring systems reveal the truth about this process. A new employee is to lay down on her back on a padded table. She is tied with hand and foot restraints. A weight is lowered from the ceiling and gently placed directly on her hip and pelvic area. The weight starts out at 5lbs. Throughout the initiation, more weight is added, until the harness above the pelvis weighs 30lbs. When the process comes to an end is when the initiation takes a painful turn. The weight harness is finally lifted off the pelvic area and then lowered several times in rapid succession until the employee can hardly stand or walk. Welcome to the company! You are given your job task directly after the initiation and expected to perform well.

After you are hired and you meet your manager, you begin to realize that the directors glazed over a lot of details in the orientation! The actual demands of the job are as follows:

7 day work weeks.
3 days off per year maximum (days may NOT be taken off in succession, but are a cumulative of hours and minutes taken for oneself. Many times the job is too demanding to take even 1 day off. Spouses may or may not be understanding of your need for time off).
The job is physically demanding, even after the initiation.
More initiation sessions may be required, some planned, some a total surprise.
You will wear the scars of this job your entire life which include but are not limited to, weight gain, bad skin, saggy boobs, brain malfunction, emotional strain, some psychotic behavior, laughter at all things morose, longing for more, constantly being needed for something and an eternal case of cabin fever.
This job is met by the public with several different reactions including but not limited to, disdain, admiration, jealousy, fascination, pity, disgust, annoyance, judgement and intolerance.

Pay will either be handed out in undetermined and unannounced increments, or in many scenarios, may not be determined until the end of your tenure (up to 60 years later).